


Kankri's Schoolfeedery Nights

by FailureArtist



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Beforus, Bigotry, Bullying, Elementary School, F/M, How They Met, pre-game, toy ship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-08
Updated: 2016-02-08
Packaged: 2018-05-19 05:00:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5954539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FailureArtist/pseuds/FailureArtist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How Kankri met Latula before the Game.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kankri's Schoolfeedery Nights

**Author's Note:**

> All original character names are just random syllables I thought up.

Kankri didn’t want to attend the schoolfeedery in the first place. It wasn’t that he liked taking lessons from his culler, Mr. Vantas; he found the intense sessions exhausting. However, the pain of those lessons was at least familiar. He didn’t know what it would be like at schoolfeedery. He didn’t even know what wigglers were like, having only socialized with his culler’s adult friends. Though he usually followed what his culler said, this time he begged not to go to schoolfeedery. Unfortunately, his culler refused to listen. His rising career made it difficult for him to continue doing the schoolfeeding himself. Besides, he said, it would be a chance for Kankri to show how well he had been taught.

It took some time for Kankri to be enrolled in the local schoolfeedery. The institution was reluctant to accept a culled student, especially one with an unknown condition. Mr. Vantas did finally convince them, though he had to pull rank. After that, Kankri was tested to see which sweep section he’d be placed in. Though it would have been embarrassing to be placed at the lower ranks, Kankri secretly wished to be put in Third Sweep because his bigger peers scared him. He was closer in size to a four-sweep-old. In the end, he was placed in Ms. Honney’s Fifth Sweep class with his peers.

It was a perigee into the term when Kankri first attended class. He had already missed two sweeps of socialization. His schoolfeeder introduced him as a mutant, thus dashing Kankri’s hope he could be hemoanonymous. When the schoolfeeder had the rest of the class introduce themselves, Kankri couldn’t take in their names because he was too overwhelmed. He had no problem remembering his culler’s many associates and their complex relationships, but all the schoolfeedery class melding into one unfriendly face.

The first perigee segment, people stared and pointed, and whispered things they assumed Kankri couldn’t hear. Unfortunately, Kankri had been cursed with attentive ears. It wasn’t just the students that talked but also the schoolfeeders. By the second segment, the conversation died down since Kankri wasn’t doing anything particularly interesting. He didn’t even have interesting eyes, his coloring being sweeps away.

The first night of the third perigee segment brought an assignment that would bring attention to the cullee. Ms. Honney assigned the class to write a report on the traits of their lusus’ species and present it to the class. Unfortunately, Kankri didn’t have a lusus; no lusus would recognize his off-spectrum blood so he was culled at hatching. He thought about asking the schoolfeeder for a different assignment but he didn’t want to contradict an adult. He wished he could write about crab lusii, since he had always been fond of crabs, but he knew the schoolfeeder would disapprove.

So he did his report on the troll species. His culler didn’t allow him internet access, not even to Trollpedia, but the Vantas hive was filled with books. Kankri had written reports before for his culler, and his culler often had Kankri recite at parties, so this wasn’t a completely new assignment for him. Kankri hunkered down with a thesaurus and wrote an essay twice as long as required.

The fifth night of the perigee segment came. Kankri Vantas was the second-to-last speaker. He was surprised at how lackluster the other students’ reports were. They obviously hadn’t had lessons in elocution like the hivefeed Kankri had from his culler. Kankri felt confident when it was his turn. He took three times as long as the rest of the students. When he sat down, he felt satisfied. After him was an indigoblood named Brutus Zurrus. His report on his howlbeast lusus was only three short mumbled lines. Instead of clapping and thanking him like Ms. Honney had done with every other presentation, she stood up and scowled at him.

“That’s it?” she asked, “You had a full perigee segment to do this assignment and that’s all you have to say?”

He replied, “What else is there to say? It’s just ‘nother species.”

Ms. Honney pointed to Kankri. “He wrote a ten page essay and he doesn’t even have a real lusus! This cullee has been in this schoolfeedery for less than a perigee and even he knows how to write a report! What is wrong with you?”

“He prob’ly had his culler write it.”

“Even if he did, he at least knows how to read it. I could barely hear what you said. Here you are, this big stocky boy, and this tiny boy has a louder voice than you.”

“So the little pipsqueak can squeak? This whole assignment is lusiishit.”

She gasped. “Language! Instead of focusing on cursing, maybe you should focus on improving your vocabulary like the cullee has. No recess for you, young man. You are going to copy out dictionary definitions.”

She turned to the rest of the class.

“And all of you can learn from the cullee. Most of you just did the bare minimum. Maybe I should lengthen the requirement next time?”  
The class groaned. Brutus shot an angry look at Kankri. Then the lunch bell rang.

“My, this evening has gone by fast,” Ms. Honney said, “Class, line up for lunch. Brutus, I’ll see you afterwards.”

As Kankri left for lunch, he didn’t thank his schoolfeeder for her remarks. He knew he was supposed to take compliments graciously, especially compliments from adults, no matter how he felt about the compliment or the adult. Adults had given him compliments he felt uncomfortable about, but he still thanked them. It felt worse this time since there was a hostile audience. He knew the schoolfeeder was expecting thanks but he didn’t feel grateful. However, at lunch, she sat down at his table.

“I’m sorry we didn’t get much chance to talk earlier,” she said, “You left so quickly. You must have been thirsty after that speech. Do you have anything to say now?”

Kankri’s mouth felt dry. “Th’nk you.”

She cocked her head. “Thank me for what exactly?”

“Thank you for complimenting me, Ms. Honney.”

“See! That wasn’t too hard. Give my thanks to your culler. He’s shouldered so much work.”

“I will.”

She took her sandwich out. “I’m glad we could have this talk.”

“Me too, Ms. Honney.”

They ate in silence.

At recess, Kankri sat on the hill watching everyone as he normally did. He imagined their respective lusii next to them. If he had a lusus, a real one, he would certainly want to learn everything he could about it. Brutus’s friends shot Kankri a few dirty looks but never climbed up his hill. Eventually, recess ended.

When Kankri re-entered the classblock, Brutus was writing down definitions from the dictionary while Ms. Honney read a paperback book with a topless man on the cover. When Brutus saw Kankri, he balled up a piece of paper and threw it at Kankri but it missed by a few inches. The schoolfeeder didn’t seem to have seen this attack and simply told Brutus to pick up the ball and throw it away. Class started. They worked on the subjects they would have done in the evening if the reports hadn’t taken so long. Kankri remained quiet for this half but Brutus kept looking at him.

When the schoolfeedery bell rang its last, Brutus was taken aside by Ms. Honney. Kankri assumed Brutus would be delayed some time so Kankri wouldn’t have to worry about Brutus meeting him after schoolfeedery. Kankri didn’t make haste. He started on his normal direct route from the schoolfeedery to his culler’s hive. Yet as he came to a crosswalk, he heard behind him several yards Brutus yelling.

“Mucusblood BITCH is gonna die soon, why she gotta waste time punishin’ me?”

One of his friends said, “What ‘bout the mutant? He’s gonna die even sooner than her. Why’s he botherin’ to go to schoolfeedery?”

Brutus replied, “If I had my way, he’d die TONIGHT!”

Kankri couldn’t resist the urge to turn his head around and unfortunately caught the eye of Brutus and two of his friends. The gang did not run after him but they did walk dangerously fast. Kankri’s pump biscuit went dangerously fast too. The light was nowhere close to changing so Kankri turned left instead, walking briskly yet casually. After a block, he looked behind him and saw Brutus’s gang was following him. Kankri turned again, and still they followed him. He finally lost his nerve and broke into a run. Now the gang ran after him and they had much longer legs then him. The next turn took him down a hill that turned into a dead-end. He cursed his lack of true knowledge of the area. Before he could decide whether to climb the fence or not, Brutus and his gang cornered him. The taller friend grabbed Kankri’s left arm while the other grabbed his right. Brutus got in his face.

“We got you now, mutant!” he yelled, “Y’know, you shouldn’t even be outside! Cullees are supposed to be inside so normal trolls won’t get sick lookin’ at ‘em! Get out of our schoolfeedery, mutant.”

“I’m allowed at schoolfeedery,” Kankri muttered.

“Only because your fake lusus bribed you in! He wrote your fuckin’ report! That’s not fair to us non-retards, is it? Because of you, that mucusblood schoolfeeder chewed me out!”

“s’not my fault, she did it.”

“It’s your fault for talkin’ so much! Cullees aren’t supposed to talk at all! I’m gonna knock your jaw out! Egoree, Yolloo, keep the squirt down!”

Kankri tried wriggling out of their grips, but it was useless. The two friends pinned him to the fence, holding his arms painfully above the ground. His jaw was in striking distance of the blueblood bully’s big fist. Brutus reeled up for a punch.

“Hey, douchebags!” came the voice of a girl.

Brutus turned to his side, keeping one shoulder near Kankri. The friends lowered Kankri a little without dropping him. Kankri could see past Brutus’s body ten feet to a girl in red shorts and a black and teal t-shirt with a skateboard under her left arm. Kankri couldn’t remember if he had seen her before or not.

Brutus yelled back, “What the fuck do you want, Latula?”

“Get your hands off that kid!” she answered.

“Why? So you can beat up the mutant too? Get lost, little girl.”

“I’m not a little girl!”

One of the friends said, “You still look like one, board-chest!”

“Take that stupid board out of here!” Brutus yelled.

“I’ll show you what my board can do!” she yelled.

She got on her board and Brutus turned around to watch her. The skateboard quickly eliminated the space between them and Kankri couldn’t quite catch what she did, but her skateboard caught him directly in the chest. Kankri’s captors dropped him and Kankri rolled out of the way. He heard the sound of fighting while he looked at the ground. When he looked up, Brutus and his gang were on the run.

“That’s what happens when you fight a ‘little girl’, yo!” she crowed at their running bodies.

She then turned to Kankri and kneeled down.

“It’s okay, Kankri. Those cowardly douchebagz are totally outie,” she said softly.

“How do you know my name?”

“Silly! We’re in the same class. I’m Latula Pyrope.”

“You’re the girl with the dragon lusus.”

“Yeah, that was my report, but your report was hella better.”

Kankri remembered back to Ms. Honney’s compliments. “Um, thank you for complimenting me, Ms. Latula.”

“It’s not like that! You had a straight up rad report, cullee or not. Honney was being a total bitch when she called you out.”

“She was doing what she thought was right as a schoolfeeder.”

“She was using you as a tool to shame another student and that’s not cool. It doesn’t matter if she’s an adult. Adults can be hella wrong.”

“You think that?”

“Hell, I think they’re wrong most of the time. Hey, you need help getting up?”

He looked at her offered hand, covered in a black fingerless glove. “No thanks.”

She straightened up. “Sure.”

Kankri used the fence to stand up. When he was up, he realized how much bigger she was then him. She was still small compared to the bullies.

“Hey,” she asked, “What direction are you heading in?”

Kankri wondered if he should tell her since he’d been told not to tell his address, but she wasn’t a stranger. “69 Pucetree Street.”

“Oh, there? I was going in that direction.”

“You live near me?”

“Well, there’s this place near it I wanna go. Come on, let’s walk together.”

“You wouldn’t mind that?”

“It’s no prob.”

So Kankri led Latula back the way he came until they got back on track.

“So where have you been keeping yourself?” she asked as they walked along, “I haven’t heard from you since you were introduced.”

“I’ve been trying to be unnoticeable, but I failed tonight.”

“You can’t hide forever. There’s nothing wrong with sticking out, Kankri.”

“But I caused trouble.”

“It’s those douchebagz that caused the trouble, not you.”

“I shouldn’t have written such a long essay. That’s what started it.”

“Yeaaah, you could have made it a lil shorter. Like a page or two. But it’s better than just writing three sentences. Don’t be afraid to speak all the wordz you want.”

“Really?”

“Mother Grub made a squawkboxez for squawking, that’s what I say. People say I talk too much too but they’re just haterz.”

“I don’t think you talk too much.”

“Thanks, dude. Say, what did you think of my movez?”

Kankri smiled. “They were...um...rad.”

“Thanks! I couldn’t believe I did it myself. Do you skateboard?”

Kankri shook his head.

“Skateboarding is the best, dude. I got into it last sweep.”

She talked about skateboarding for the rest of the way home. Kankri didn’t understand what she meant but he liked listening to her Zs and colorful jargon. All too soon, they arrived at the mansion-filled neighborhood where Kankri lived.

“Wow, this is hella ritzy,” she said, “Even better than my teal neighborhood.”

“Indigobloods deserve better hives because they shoulder more responsibility.”

She huffed. “That’s what they say.”

They walked up to 69 Pucetree Street. The surname of Kankri’s culler, was in big letters on the four story hive. Latula took off her shades and peered at the hive. The hive now seemed embarrassingly ostentatious now that he saw it through her bemused eyes.

“Here you go, Vantaz,” she said.

“Where are you going, Latula? Maybe I can come with you.”

“I’m going to...um...Pesseh’s.”

“The fishing supply store? That’s blocks away.”

“But it’s a really good store.”

“Oh.” He looked at the door. “Well, my culler would be upset if I didn’t go straight home.”

“We’ll see each other on First Night, right?”

He turned back to her. “Yes, I’ll go to the schoolfeedery.”

She smiled widely. “Rad! I’ll keep my shades out for you!”

She held her hand out and Kankri just looked at it.

“Am I supposed to give you something?” he asked.

“A low-five, dude!”

“Sorry, I don’t have any money.”

She laughed. “I mean hit my palm with your palm!”

“Oh.” He took his hand and gently patted hers. Her tealblood hand was cold but not as cold as his culler’s indigoblood hand when he forcibly grabbed it.

She looked at her hand. “Wow, you are warm.” She looked up again. “And now we are friends!”

“Friends?”

“Yep! Friends.”

He looked down. “You’re my first friend.”

“And not the last, for sure. You won’t be alone for long!”

He smiled brightly at her.

“Seeya, dude!”

She took out her skateboard and went in a different direction from Pesseh’s. When she was out of sight, Kankri went to his door. After going through the hand scanner, he went inside to his respiteblock. He flung himself on the sleeping platform. He imagined Latula’s face on the ceiling. She was so pretty and cool it was hard to imagine she could be his friend. The night had started out bad but he couldn’t believe his luck.

In the coming perigees, he would met Porrim at an underground bookstore whose address he found off the back of a discarded book. She became his second friend. They shoplifted together, figuring that’s what the rebel writers wanted. Meanwhile, Latula met Mituna when he moved after his hive was accidentally destroyed. The two skateboarders grew closer while Kankri, who had never managed to skateboard, grew away from her. Still, it was her that was his server player during Sgrub. Even through the eons in the dreambubble, when all his other memories seemed like stories from a book, when he had even forgotten his culler’s first name, he always remembered the night he met his first friend.

**Author's Note:**

> and kankri became a douchebag welp


End file.
